


my body is a house, but yours is a home

by smallredboy



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Dirty Jokes, Gender Dysphoria, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mentions of surgery, Trans Greg House, mentions of genitalia, trans author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-17 22:34:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21550852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy
Summary: House talks about envy with Wilson late at night.
Relationships: Greg House/James Wilson
Comments: 7
Kudos: 113
Collections: Allbingo, Prompt Table Challenge: Shippy Building





	my body is a house, but yours is a home

**Author's Note:**

> for allbingo's people-watching fest with the square "snuggling", transbingo with the square "cuddles and snuggles", and my shippy building customizable table with the prompt "cuddling"
> 
> this is very personal and also probably very ooc but, look. i love soft house opening up to wilson. it's my weakness.
> 
> enjoy!

Wilson's body is far more comfortable than his.

House knows he sounds ridiculous when he thinks that, decades on testosterone and his chest taken care of by the best surgeon he could afford during med school. But an envy from years past from looking at cis men doesn't disappear all out of a sudden. He's had to work to be comfortable in his body, to mold it to his liking; synthetic hormones in place of the ones he should've been born with. It's stupid, to still feel envious when he has everything he wants.

It's a lazy morning, and House can't help but wrap his arms around Wilson's middle, his hand brushing against his hips. Narrow hips, broad shoulders, no scars. His scars are nearly invisible by now. Why is he so jealous? Why can't he get over this?

The logical part of his brain says that of course he can't get over envy of cis men. They don't have to fight to get where he is now. But he shouldn't feel envious of his husband, who has had plenty happen to him. Who he shouldn't be so  _ jealous _ of simply over the virtue of having a penis. It's  _ stupid. _

He's being stupid.

"Are you okay, House?" Wilson asks him, voice charged with sleep, because unless he is not okay, he seldom snuggles up to him.

He swallows thickly. "Just. Having stupid thoughts."

He yawns and leans in to peck his cheek, not minding the stubble. He's never minded the stubble. "What kinda stupid?"

"Just, like. As one psychologist would've put it, penis envy."

Wilson scrunches up his nose and scoffs at the Freudian reference, before he realizes. "Oh. You're feeling dysphoric?"

"Not  _ really _ ," House presses on. "Just, penis envy, you know. Jealous that you came out of the womb with everything I had to work hard for."

"I didn't come out of the womb with this big of a dick," Wilson jokes, before rubbing his eyes with his knuckles. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

House laughs a little. "It's okay. But, yeah. Your body is just more… more like home." He pauses. "Does that make any sense?"

"Your body is more like home," he replies, licking his lips, staring at him intently. He looks through him, as he's always done. "You worked hard to make it like home. Mine is just a house."

"Hah. A house," he deadpans. "A part of it definitely tends to be inside a House."

Wilson raises a brow.

"Sorry," House mumbles. "Just. You know." He makes a vague hand motion. "I'm coping."

He leans in to kiss him on the lips. "Yeah. Your body  _ is _ a home, though. You've worked so hard for it to be how you want it to be."

House nods, buries his face on the crook of Wilson's neck. "I guess. It's  _ dumb _ . I don't even want a dick."

"We get it, you're a bottom," he replies sleepily, letting him hold him for a few seconds before they turn around so he's the big spoon, hands around House's middle, pressing against his stomach comfortably.

"Another reason you could envy me is, because, well, you know," he mutters into House's shoulders.

"Yeah," he agrees softly. "It's a little bit of that, too. But mostly just, trans angst."

He chuckles and kisses his earlobe, pressing against it with his teeth for a brief moment, that way that makes House shudder.

"Okay." He pauses. "Your body is a hard-won home, House."

He hums. "When's your poetry book coming out?" he deadpans, but there's no bite to it.

He knows what Wilson thinks, that if he did write poetry, it would all be love poems to him. It's too sappy, so he wills himself into sleep before he can hear Wilson say it. 

Wilson's hands around his middle, keeping him close, makes sleep a lot easier to come by.


End file.
